Shouldn’t this all be easier?

I honestly think I could get used to having someone there for me all the time, someone to hold, caress and ultimately love. I think I’ve just been too afraid to let myself be utterly vulnerable and take the chance to let someone inside me. It scares the heck out of me, I can’t, or maybe I just don’t want to imagine someone knowing everything about me. Im not sure if I want someone to be able to tell what I’m thinking just by certain mannerisms or the subtle tones of my voice. Ultimately though, I’m just afraid of letting all of this happen and just being left, all alone with nothing but the carcass of lost love.